creepypastafandomcom-20200222-history
User talk:Randall Adams
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the File:TheChat.png page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! WhyAmIReadingThis (talk) 19:35, November 18, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:51, November 18, 2015 (UTC) :Okay, what rule does it violate? It's just a chat conversation. One of the two is chatting with the typical chatting grammar. Randall Adams (talk) 19:53, November 18, 2015 (UTC) Re: story I deleted the story after five minutes, not twenty seconds. Your story was deleted for being very generic. It borrows way to much from Annie96 Is Typing..., Chat Room D, and a majority of other creepy pasta chat log stories. There is a lot of over-exposition: " it’s been 5 months since you moved away to canada", "i heard he had only one month to live last time we spoke :c", "with his stomach cancer dont you remember MARTYTHEBEAST: u had to move away to some better hospital thnx to him" First off, who talks like that to a friend? "Hey, remember how your dad was dying of cancer and you had to mov away?" It comes off as incredibly unrealistic and shoe-horned into the conversation as a way of letting the audience know the backstory while breaking immersion. There are too many plot holes to overlook. So whatever killed Owen is slowly making its way to Marty's house (from Canada) while typing all these messages out. Why? What is its goal in doing this other than the standard 'the monster is now outside your house' cliche that seems to go with every chat room log? Then there's the ending: "MARTYTHEBEAST: thats my house MARTYTHEBEAST: what ar" Why exactly is Marty still typing when it's clear that whatever killed his friend is outside his house? I'm sorry, but the story is very generic and seems to be a carbon-copy of other stories that have had some success on this site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:05, November 18, 2015 (UTC) :If you rode the story, you might have noticed that Owen said these exact words: "I had no time to get onto the chat the past three months. Sorry for that." There has to be a reason for why Owen didn't want to speak to Marty for such a long time while they were friends. So, Marty starts to talk about Owen's father to keep the conversation up and to clarify the absence of Owen during earlier chats. Also, what if the thing that killed Owen is already near the house of Marty when typing the messages? What if it even ain't a monster? What if it is a humanoid being? I can agree with you on the ending, that's a fact I didn't work out too well. But all the other reasons are invalid. (at least, in my opinion) ::I did in fact 'rode' the story. Even if they haven't talked for three months, in what world would this be viewed as 'keeping the conversation going' ""with his stomach cancer dont you remember MARTYTHEBEAST: u had to move away to some better hospital thnx to him"" First he's re-hashing the plot to his friend like his cancer was something he could forget, then he blames his father for needing to go to a hospital in Canada. ::So what killed Owen is simply sitting outside his house frantically trying to keep up a conversation via mobile or is hunkered in some house typing all of this while waiting for the conversation to progress to the point he can make the 'big reveal'. Still begs the question, why? Why travel all the way from Canada to wherever Marty is for the sole reason of murdering a friend. (Especially when they haven't talked for months beforehand) There's no implication or explanation for this. You can argue this all you want, but the story is still flawed and below our quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:24, November 18, 2015 (UTC) Notice Please do not blank messages from your talk pages as they serve as a public record. Blanking/altering other user's messages will result in a ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:32, November 18, 2015 (UTC)